I have not written in quite some time. I have continued to meet my goal of getting in my miles daily. I have not been motivated to run a lot of those miles. There have been a few good days.
I just finished reading a boom and have come to realize that some things I thought hey why not give this a shot are really the ideas that worked for others and don’t fit well with me. I have so many ideas piling up in my brain and things that I want to do in life. Maybe I will never do any of them but what if I just did one and it changed my life.
You see the choices we make on a daily basis change our lives. Writing this is changing my life. It may not be some big change that happens immediately, but it changes me. I know this is changing me because I can literally feel it in my body. A nervousness that comes only when I am unsure of things. I need this feeling more often. I think it is what fuels my ability to try new things.
I made a decision to buy my website name. I thought oh I’ll start this blog and it will be life changing. I was dreaming big and I still am. It has changed me. I’ve given money away to causes I truly care about. Never before would I have done that.
As I sit here curled up on my couch with the Florida sun pouring in on a November day with my beautiful, strong-willed, smart, thumb sucking 3 year old laying next to me with her blanket I realize that I have to do things my way. Writing on this blog is something I wanted so desperately to do in August. I wanted to share so much about the decisions I was making and how I was changing my life and supporting a cause I believed in. It was great sharing that information. In September I shared some and supported another great cause. October though not so much. I think the true stresses of my job have taken a toll on me.
November is always the month everyone spews what they are thankful for and it seems so cliché. Why don’t we share what we are thankful for every day? Why don’t we tell people how we really feel? I have come to a point in my life where if you don’t want to be in my life that is okay. I also realize there is little reason to be mad at people because the person you are mad at probably doesn’t know and doesn’t care. It isn’t affecting their life as much as it is destroying your mood. Let go. Live.
Instead of spewing my thankful list I am going to get real. I am making a calendar to start training tomorrow morning for a half marathon. I am printing it and putting it up all over my house as a reminder. I am going to start a food journal again and get serious about my health. I need to hold myself accountable and make good choices. I know I won’t be successful 100% of the time, but I also know if I don’t get back up again I will stray further from my goals.
The only way to get back is to get back up. I am on my way to reaching my goals. I am capable. I am strong. I am worthy. I will do this in my own way. If I write from my couch, the car, my computer, or an airplane I am doing it because I love writing and I want to share my joys and my sorrows. Maybe one day I will inspire someone and get the things that I hope for.
Go for a run, do something you are passionate about, do it your way.