Family self-care is not something that I see a lot of people talking about. Maybe they don’t call it that. I really think that should be a thing. Maybe it is and I just don’t have the right name for it.
Here’s how I see family self-care: everyone has their own time, parents/partners/grandparents/adults have time together, parent/child time, family time. All of these relationships build family self-care. I believe that all of these relationships need care just like a flower needs care in order to grow.
This is probably very difficult for some people and it looks different for everyone because there’s no one size fits all plan because families are so different.
We have a small family unit. J, A, S, and D are the people that make up our family. However, D doesn’t live anywhere near us so that is a different dynamic. S lives with her boyfriend and therefore has her own family. J and A are here at my house with me. We are the focus of the family unit at this time. We all have to work to manage our relationships.
For us that means sometimes taking a day off and spending it as just the three of us. My word for the year is create. Taking these days off to spend together allows us to create new memories. We are experiencing new things together and giving our family self-care. As much as my individual self-care is important it is also important to care for my family too.
I believe sometimes we can get too wrapped up in the grind of our daily lives to think about needing time with our families. After all for a lot of us we are with them all the time so why do I need more family time?
I look at it this way: we are together most of the time but we are in such a routine (that I promise I do like) we aren’t taking the time to appreciate the small things. Sometimes it is important to get away with your family to appreciate the small things. Enjoy each other’s company, literally smell the flowers, create a new memory, do anything together.
Maybe you are thinking well I can’t get away. We can’t afford it right now. My suggestion to that would be to have an unplugged night or weekend. Everyone puts their devices away and you do something in your space. Color, watch a movie together, build a fort, take silly pictures, make dinner together, have a picnic in the living room, everyone sleep on the floor together. My idea of true family self-care is deepening those relationships and focusing on the things that truly matter in life: people.
I think too often we are planning out everything that needs to happen in our lives and then we get so tangled that we aren’t enjoying life. I know that as Aco tines to grow I want her to enjoy her youth. I want her to experience so many different things. I want her to see that J and I value each other and make time to strengthen our relationship. I want her to see that we each value her by spending time with her. That we value our family by doing things together. That we value people by helping others.
Another routine that isn’t routine at all is just taking that random time to build and strengthen relationships by experiencing things together. When those I love the most are happy it helps to build up my happiness. I can’t depend on them for my happiness but seeing them happy makes me happy.
In the end I believe you care for yourself and your family needs in your own way. To me it is important to make sure every relationship is built on a strong foundation and worked on all the time. My idea of working on the family foundation is to take time together and creating memories.
What are your ideas of how to have family self-care? Do you have a routine you follow that you care to share?
Until next time,
Go for a run, do something you are passionate about, create memories, be kind, be you.